翻译:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
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我真的很喜欢我的新运动鞋 So, l'm really happy with my new sneakers.
你懂的 因为它们是灰色的 You know, 'cause they're gray.
如果你仔细想想 灰色真是个很棒的颜色 因为白色太亮眼 And if you think about it, it's a good color 'cause white is really too bright...
而黑色的看起来就像双皮鞋 and black is almost like a pair of shoes.
而灰色恰恰在两者中间 它们看上去很棒 And gray is kind of right in the middle. They look good.
我们应该说回谢丽儿 We should get back to Cheryl.
你知道的 我们只是在一起做的事情不够多 You know, we just don't do enough things together.
她打网球 她不打高尔夫 我不能打网球因为我脖子不好 She plays tennis, she won't play golf. I can't play tennis because of my neck.
我发不好球 我只能轻轻把球发出去 I can't serve, l'll have to make dainty little serves...
这样她每次都会击败我的 and she'll beat me every time.
-谢丽儿还喜欢做什么? -她喜欢户外 - What else does Cheryl like to do? - She likes the outdoors.
我真的不太喜欢户外 你知道的 I don't really like the outdoors, you know.
对秃顶的人来说太不友好了 It's not a good place for bald people out there.
-那海滩呢? -我尤其不喜欢海滩 - What about the beach? - I don't like the beach in particular.
每年这时候海滩很美的啊 The beach is lovely this time of year.
我会去圣巴巴拉 我们家到海滩上去 I go up to Santa Barbara, we go to the beach.
很棒的 人也不多 Very nice, it's not crowded.
我是说 如果我和她一起去海滩的话 I mean, if I went to the beach with her she would be...
她简直会不知所措的 嗯 She wouldn't know what to think, yeah.
-她会开心的 -嗯 她会非常开心 - She'd be happy. - Yeah, she'd be very happy.
-和她一起去海滩吧 -恨死海滩了 - Go to the beach with her. - Hate it.
四处都是恶心的躯体走来走去 我还不得不看着他们 All those disgusting bodies walking around, l have to look at them.
我们时间到了 Our time is up.
也许我会带她去海滩 Maybe l'll take her to the beach.
-也许我会吧 -好主意 - Maybe I will. - Good idea.
好 那我们下周再见 祝好 Okay, see you next week, be well.
-你好吗? -不错 你呢? - How you doing? - Good, how are you?
很高兴见到你 你被治愈了吗? Nice to see you. You cured?
-100% -有重大突破吗? - 100% . - You had the big breakthrough?
-我觉得我可以不来了 -好 那很棒啊 - I think l'm ready to terminate. - Okay, yeah. Great.
真是胡说八道啊 是吧?你还能怎样呢? It's such nonsense, isn't it? What are you gonna do?
你又不能去和朋友说 You can't bother your friends with this stuff.
-心事没个完的 -我懂 - This goes on forever. - I know.
-劳勃 你先坐 我马上就来 -好 知道了 - Rob, have a seat, l'll be right in. - Okay, all right.
嗯 听着 我只想和你说 我在做这个慈善的活动 Yeah, listen, I just want to say, l'm doing this charity thing.
我是这东西的主席... 你知道什么是格罗特综合征吗? I'm the chairman of this... You know what Groat's syndrome is?
格罗特 你听说过格罗特综合征吗? Groat, have you ever heard of Groat's syndrome?
这是种症状 我是说 主要影响孩子和大人 It's a syndrome. I mean, and it affects kids and adults...
会让他们很难控制自己的多动 who have a tough time controlling their hyperactivity.
就好比 好像你喝了五杯咖啡 It's just like, if you were on five cups of coffee...
时刻如此 at all times.
所以 我们在做一个大牌明星拍卖 And so, we're doing a big celebrity auction.
如果你能同意拍卖... And it would be great if you would agree to...
自己的午餐时间和别人一起度过的话 那就太好了 allow yourself to be auctioned off and have lunch with somebody.
我是说 很多人都是这么做的 托尼丹扎 还有特德丹森 I mean, a lot of people are doing it. Tony Danza, and Ted Danson...
等一下 劳勃 第一... Wait a second, Rob, first of all...
你这事能想到我 我就受宠若惊了 l'm flattered that you would even think of me for this...
但 劳勃 没人想和我共进午餐的 but, Rob, no one wants to have lunch with me.
不 你可是创造了《宋飞正传》的人 No, you are the guy who created Seinfeld.
-没错 但我是说... -大家会十分想和你... - Yeah, but I mean... - The people'd love to be sitting...
没人会出价的 场面会很尴尬的 No one's gonna bid any money. It's gonna be embarrassing.
和拉里大卫共进午餐? 五十美分 就这样 简直太荒唐了 To go to a Larry David lunch? 50 cents, you know, it's ridiculous.
你会很惊讶地看到单单让你同意和他们进餐 You'll be surprised how much money we'll be able to generate...
就能为我们赚到多少钱的 just by you agreeing to have lunch with them.
只是感觉还要我表现的很风趣有很大压力 I just feel like there's a lot of pressure for me to be entertaining...
不 你不一定非要风趣 做你自己就好... No, you don't have to be entertaining. Just be yourself...
他们和你待在一起就会很激动的 and they'll just be thrilled to be with you.
-如果你不想做的话 -不 我会做的 - If you don't want to... - No, l'll do it.
你会吗?太棒了 You will? Great.
看到自己值多少钱你会吃惊的 You'll be surprised at how much you go for.
吃惊 我会... Surprised, l'm gonna be...
我觉得你看到我多不值钱你会吃惊的 l think you're gonna be surprised at how little I go for.
总之 谢了 拉里 我真的很感激 简直太棒了 Anyway, thanks, Larry, I really appreciate it. That's great.
我觉得去圣巴巴拉... I think that Santa Barbara thing...
我觉得是个很棒的主意 l think that's a pretty good idea.
我认为我会这么做的 I think l'm gonna do it.
你知道的 去圣巴巴拉待一天 You know, go to Santa Barbara one day.
那 你周六准备干什么? So, what are you doing on Saturday?
你觉得我们去海滩怎么样 What do you think about going to the beach?
圣巴巴拉 Santa Barbara.
-我们两个? -有兴趣吗? - The two of us? - Any interest in that?
-当然了 -真的吗? - Yeah. - Really?
-我觉得那简直太棒了 -是吗 - I think that would be wonderful. - Do you?
-当然了 -真的吗? - Of course. - Really?
你不觉得我会爱死去海滩了吗? Don't you think I would love to go to the beach?
-是吗?你想去吗 -我不敢相信 - Do you? You want to? - I can't believe that.
那高尔夫呢 你不去打高尔夫吗? What about golf, you're not playing golf?
我又不是非得去 我不去就是了 小事 I don't have to play. I won't play, big deal.
又不一定非得每周六打球 You don't have to play every Saturday.
-不 当然不是了 -你可以和你的老婆共度一天 - No, of course not. - You can spend the day with your wife.
-对啊 我正要那么做呢 -我很高兴接受你的邀请 - Exactly, that's what l'm doing. - I would love to accept your invitation.
好 说定了 那 我需要带些什么? Okay, you got a date. Now, what do I need to bring?
-你不用 -我需要件泳衣 是吧? - You don't need to... - I need a bathing suit, right?
你需要件泳衣... You need a bathing suit...
但那就是全部需要你操心的了 好吧? but that's all you need to worry yourself with, okay?
剩下的都交给我 I'll take care of the rest.
收音机呢?有没有场我能听的球赛什么的? A radio? Is there a ballgame l can listen to or anything?
那就完全失去意义了 不是吗? Then you're defeating the purpose, aren't you?
那该做什么 就躺在毯子上 然后... So what do you do, you lie down on a blanket, and...
就晒太阳 You bask in the sun.
别忘了防晒霜 Don't forget sun block.
我不会忘了防晒霜的 I will not forget sun block.
-35 40 指数越高越好 -越高越好 - 35, 40. As high as you can get. - As high as I can get.
好的 我很期待哦 Gotcha. I'm looking forward to it.
好了 All right.
我必须说 一路开过来真不错 That was a nice drive, I have to say.
嗯 瞧瞧这 Yeah, look at this.
这里真的太美了 It's beautiful out here.
好了 看看 我拿着这个 All right, let's see, l'll grab this.
鞋放里边 Shoes in here.
-我拿这个 -我去哪穿泳装? - I'll get this. - What, where do I put this suit on?
-你怎么没穿? -你穿你的了吗? - Why didn't you wear it? - You got yours on?
当然了 Of course.
我觉得那样会不舒服的 I thought l'd be uncomfortable.
你可是要去海滩啊 You're going to the beach.
我不想套着泳衣开一个半小时的车 I didn't want to drive an hour and a half with a bathing suit on.
我又不一定非得穿 反正我又不游泳 是吧? I don't have to put it on. I'm not gonna go swimming anyway, am l?
那有什么区别呢? So what's the difference?
真是太美了 This is beautiful.
这个饮料箱你要吗? You want this water cooler?
-要 -好 - Yeah. - Okay.
我拿不了这么多东西 那伞呢 你也要吗? I can't carry all this stuff. What about the umbrella, you want that too?
要 谢谢 Yes, please.
哦 老天啊 这太美了 Oh, my God, this is gorgeous.
-有防晒霜吗? -有 - Got any sun block? - Yeah.
犹太人买了 得有 这个国家卖的85%的防晒霜 你觉得呢 Jews buy, like, 85%% of the sun block that's sold in this country, don't you think?
我没想过... I've never thought about...
没有了犹太人那些卖防晒霜的都要失业 Without Jews these sun block people would be out of business.
是吗 Is that right?
嗯 我从没见过一个非犹太人要买 甚至抹防晒霜的 Yeah, l've never once seen a Gentile ask for, or even put on, sun block.
真的 True.
我不太懂人们对大海的这种向往 I don't really get this fascination that people have with the ocean.
是吗？ No?
我就盯着看了十分钟就觉得"好 我知道了" I stare at it for 10 minutes and I go, "Okay, I get it."
你不觉得更平静了吗? Don't you feel calmer?
我觉得我看不到别人领略到的 反而更愤怒了 I feel aggravated that l'm missing what other people are getting.
-苍天啊 -怎么了? - Holy shit. - What?
我觉得我看到我的咨询师了 你看到那个穿条纹泳裤的家伙了吗 I think I just saw my therapist. You see a guy in a striped bathing suit?
布料特别 特别少的那个 看到了吗 Skimpy, skimpy suit, you see that?
-嗯 我看到他了 -嗯 那是我的咨询师 - Yeah, I see him. - Yeah, that's my therapist.
你怎么不去打招呼 Why don't you go say hi?
-他穿着那个我没法和他打招呼 -确实够小的 - I can't talk to him in that bathing suit. - It is pretty small.
他怎么能穿着那种泳裤走来走去 How can he walk around in a bathing suit like that?
我是说 他这是在海滩啊 他想怎么穿就怎么穿 是吧 I mean, he's at the beach, he can wear whatever he wants, right?
-他干什么呢 -他慢慢坐下呢 - What's he doing? - He's just kind of settling in.
你看到他泳裤的后边了吗 他怎么能穿成这样走来走去 Did you see the back of his bathing suit? How does he walk around like that?
我们能走吗 我们走吧 Can we go? Let's just go.
我们才刚来 我们才不走 We just got here, we're not gonna go.
太荒谬了 而且 如果你起来 他不就看到你了吗? That's ridiculous. Plus, if you get up, don't you think he'll see you then?
那我今天一天 就得保持这个姿势? I've got to stay like this now, for the rest of the day?
我觉得那就取决于你了 I guess that's up to you.
要和那咨询师说再见了 Kiss that therapist goodbye.
问题只在于 我要告诉理查德路易斯吗? The only question now is, do I tell Richard Lewis?
-你确定那是韦斯医生吗? -那就是他 就是他 - Are you sure it was Dr. Weiss? - It was him, it was him.
毋庸置疑 就是韦斯 韦斯医生 No question about it. It was Weiss, Dr. Weiss.
只穿一条丁字裤 Thong, up his ass.
-就像理查德西蒙斯吗? -理查德西蒙斯穿过丁字裤吗? - Like Richard Simmons? - Richard Simmons has a thong up his ass?
你没见过他那么穿吗? -没有 - Did you ever see him do that shit? - No.
苍天啊 Holy shit.
哎 你懂 我只想和你说 你懂的 我不会再去... So, you know, I just wanted to tell you, you know, so l'm leaving...
知道吗 你这样简直太不公平了 You know what, this is so unfair of you.
我给你介绍的他 他是个很棒的医生 I turn you on to this guy, he's a brilliant doctor.
-我就不该介绍给你 -你应该谢谢我 - I would've never told you. - You should be thanking me.
把你从这个享乐主义者手里解救出来 Saving you from this hedonist giving you advice.
享乐主义 他是个享乐主义者吗? Hedonist, he's a hedonist?
-他不是个享乐主义者 -他是什么? - He's not a hedonist. - What is he?
这是我 1969 年以来第 28 个咨询师 This is my 28th therapist since 1969.
我不想再换人了 我不想再打破这个纪录了 I don't want to go anymore, l don't want to break the record.
重头再来会很难吧 你重头再来得花两三个月 是吗? The recap is very hard. Your recap is two, three months, isn't it?
两三个月?那只是皮毛 Two, three months? That's just the crib.
我生在布鲁克林 还有我感觉被孤立 I was born in Brooklyn, and I felt alienated...
-后来我成为一个酒精成瘾者 -好 你不用全都告诉我 - and I became an alcoholic. - Okay, you don't have to do it right now.
我得怎么去和他说我要离开他了? How am I gonna tell him l'm gonna leave now?
和女人不一样吗?你不能在电话上说吗? Is it like a woman? Can you do it on the phone?
你又不是要退掉有线电视 You're not canceling cable.
你必须本人过去 他也是个人 你必须得说... You have to go in. He's a human being. You got to say...
我们去吃午餐吧 好好谈谈这事 我们需要个详细计划 Let's go out to lunch, let's talk about this, 'cause we need a game plan.
要什么计划 你进去 说要走 你还能怎么做? There's no plan, you go in and quit. What are you gonna do?
-我们不能吃个午餐 谈谈这个吗? -我不行 - Can't we have lunch and discuss this? - I can't.
-为什么不行? -我把时间慈善拍卖了 - Why not? - I've been auctioned off for some charity.
搞什么 《寻根》吗? 什么叫"拍卖了" What is this, Roots? What you mean, "auctioned off?"
是名人拍卖 It's some celebrity auction.
有个人花了4000美金来和我吃午餐 Somebody paid $4,000 to go have lunch with me.
-你敢信吗? -你应该感到荣幸 - Do you believe that? - You should be flattered.
他想和拉里大卫共进午餐 He wants to have lunch with Larry David.
我觉得要风趣的压力很大 知道吗? I feel a lot of pressure to be entertaining, you know?
好吧 享受午餐吧 All right, enjoy your lunch.
大卫先生 大卫先生 这边 Mr. David! Mr. David, over here.
-你好 约翰泰勒 -约翰泰勒? - Hiya, John Tyler. - John Tyler?
和总统名字一样 Like the president.
泰勒总统 President Tyler.
-对 -我该叫你总统先生吗? - Yeah. - Should I call you Mr. President?
这太棒了 谢谢你为了慈善捐出... This is great. Thank you for donating your time...
自己的时间 还有你做的一切 for the auction and everything.
"提皮卡努还有他泰勒" "Tippecanoe and Tyler, too."
-你知到"提皮卡努"是什么吗 -不知道 - You know what "Tippecanoe" was? - No.
你不知道?如果我是以总统命名的... You don't know? If I was named after a president...
我会知道他的一切的 l would know everything about him.
我不是以他命名的 只是一个姓罢了 I wasn't named after him, it's just a family name.
-你又说不准 我还和大卫王有关系呢 -真的吗? - You never know. I'm related to King David. - Really?
真的 看 一位总统一位王... Yes, so, a president and a king...
在一个餐桌上 好一张餐桌啊 at the same table. Pretty big table.
-真的 就是一个姓而已 -大家族吗? - It's a family name, really. - Big family?
嗯 五个兄弟姊妹 你了解的 爱尔兰人 Yeah, five brothers and sisters, you know, lrish.
你碰到过你父母上床吗? You ever catch your parents having sex?
-没有 -我也没有 - No. - Me either.
你知道他们一定上床了 但你会好奇到底在什么时候呢 You know they did, but you wonder when.
那你是哪来的? So where you from?
-老家泽西岛 -是吗? - Jersey, originally. - Yeah?
你看过乔皮斯柯波演的"泽西佬"吗? You ever see Joe Piscopo's Jersey Guy?
"我是个泽西佬" "I'm Jersey guy.
"我从泽西来 我是泽西佬" "I'm from Jersey, l'm the Jersey guy."
真正泽西来的人不觉得那家伙有意思 Yeah, people from Jersey didn't really find that guy funny.
玩过胡椒和盐的罐子吗? Ever play the salt and pepper shakers?
听这是什么歌 What song is this?
"祝你生日快乐" "Happy Birthday To You."
生日快乐 Happy birthday
生日快乐 约翰泰勒 总统先生 Happy birthday, Mr. President John Tyler
生日快乐 Happy birthday
总之 每个格罗特综合征团体里的人都... Anyway, everybody from Groat's Syndrome Association just...
很感谢你肯花时间 Thank you for your time...
感谢你能捐出午饭 我们真的很感激 and for donating the lunch. We really appreciate it.
没事的 无论你们需要什么 我什么都能捐 Please, whatever you need, l'll donate anything you want.
我都会捐了的 我的时间 我的器官 I'll donate it all. My time, my organs.
你想要什么 想要个肾吗?我把肾给你 What do you want, you want a kidney? I'll give it to you.
你还要什么? What else do you need?
我老二很不错 我可以捐根老二 I've got a terrific penis. I could donate a penis.
我的脾也挺好 很不错的脾 I've got good spleen, excellent spleen.
脾脏先生 摆脱尘垢 Mr. Spleen gets rid of dirt and grime
除污驱渍 不需多候 And grease in just a minute
脾脏先生 全家清洁 Mr. Spleen will clean your whole house
家中一切 脾脏先生 And everything that's in it, Mr. Spleen
如果你把"先生"改成"先森" 就成了"脾脏先森" lf you change "Mr." to "Monsieur," say, "Monsieur Spleen"...
那你就会以为广告是... then you'll think that the commercial was...
清洁先森 清洁先森 Monsieur Clean, Monsieur Clean
这是种很可怕的疾病 lt's a devastating illness...
我们真的感激你做的一切 and we just appreciate everything you've done.
我从来没听说过 叫什么来着? I've never heard of it. What is it called?
-格罗特综合征 -那症状是什么? - Groat's syndrome. - And what does it do?
是一种神经系统疾病... It's a nervous system syndrome...
让人感觉极度激动紧张 that makes people extremely excited and nervous.
-我的侄女有这病 -嗯 迪克格罗特 - My niece has it. - Of course, Dick Groat.
以迪克格罗特命名... Named after Dick Groat...
原来在匹兹堡海盗队打游击手的 who used to play shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates.
我知道的 因为他也秃顶 而且他表现不太好... I know, 'cause he was a bald guy. And he didn't feel very well...
就因为他时刻都过于兴奋 是吧? 'cause he was very excited all the time, is that it?
不是 首次确诊这个症状的医生叫格罗特 No, the doctor that initially diagnosed it was named Groat.
-你确定不是因为迪克格罗特吗? -对 非常确定 - You sure it wasn't Dick Groat? - Yeah, l'm pretty sure.
格罗特医生可能是迪克格罗特的父亲 谁知道呢 Dr. Groat might be Dick Groat's father, for all we know.
-不是吗? -不是 我侄女有这病 而且... - No? - No, my niece has it, and...
不如你仔细查查吧 You might want to check into that.
他就穿一条布料很少的速比涛泳裤一样的... So, he's wearing this skimpy kind of Speedo bathing suit...
他的小弟弟四处晃荡 his boys are hanging out all over the place.
我是不会再回去了 不可能的 我不行的 你不会吗? I'm not going back there. No way, I can't, would you?
-回沙滩吗? -不 回咨询师那 - To the beach? - No, to the therapist.
-您的几分钟就好 先生 Yours will be ready in just a few minutes, sir.
-介意我先吃吗? -他说我的几分钟就好了 - Mind if I start? - He said it'll just be a couple minutes.
那 你是不想让我先吃 是吧? So, you don't want me to start, is that it?
就几分钟了 你不在乎吧 在乎吗? It's a couple minutes. You don't mind, do you?
我只是觉得有点怪 I just think it's kind of weird.
我是说 如果是你的菜先到了 I mean, if you had your food come first...
我会说 您开吃吧 我在乎这个干嘛? l would say, go ahead and start, what do I care?
-我会等你的菜上了再吃 -我不想让你等 - I would wait for you to get yours. - I wouldn't want you to wait.
如果你等了我会不舒服的 I'd be uncomfortable if you waited.
我觉得等你的菜上才是礼貌的做法 I'd feel it would be polite to wait for your food to arrive.
我举得不让别人吃饭就挺不礼貌... I think it's kind of impolite to prevent a person...
尤其是人还饿着 who is hungry from eating.
嗯 但我们是应该共进午餐的啊 Yeah, but we're supposed to be having lunch together.
我们非得同时开吃才算吗?我不理解 Do we have to start at the exact same time? I don't get that.
我不明白你的凉三明治怎么就不能等一会 本来就不是热菜 I don't see why you can't wait two seconds for your cold sandwich. It's not even hot.
我不理解我吃自己的食物你为什么这么介意 I don't see why you care if I take a bite of my food.
-有什么碍到你的? -因为我们是共进午餐 - How does that bother you? - Because we're having lunch together.
-那又怎样? -我们两个 - So what? - The two of us.
谢了 Thanks.
谢谢你和我换时间 Thanks for switching appointments with me.
嗯 没事的 Yeah, no, problem.
拉里 那顿午饭发生了什么?你干什么了? Larry, what happened with that lunch? What did you do?
-我很抱歉 我只是... -你干什么了? - I'm sorry, I just... - What did you do?
我因为这个人花了四千美金感觉压力很大 I felt so much pressure from the fact that this guy had paid $4,000...
我拼命在那儿搞笑耍嘴皮子 and I tried too hard to be entertaining and affable.
那 你就告诉他格罗特综合征... So, you told him that Groat's syndrome...
是命名于匹兹堡海盗队的游击手 迪克格罗特? was named after the shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Dick Groat?
我没说那就是事实 我那么猜了 因为... I didn't say that as a fact, l speculated, because...
嗯 因为有个卢格里格命名的疾病 Yeah, 'cause Lou Gehrig had a disease named after him.
迪克格罗特也是个棒球手 我只是觉得有可能 And Dick Groat was a ball player. I thought it was a possibility.
你没读我发给你的资料吗? Didn't you read the literature I sent you?
-读了会心情不好 -那你就不该同意做这个 - That depresses me. - Then you shouldn't have agreed to do it.
-我只是和他吃顿饭而已 -我知道 但是拉里 还有一件事 - I was just having lunch with the guy. - I know, but Larry, that's another thing.
你在他的食物上来之前就开吃了? You start eating before he gets his food?
什么样的人才会...我是说 格罗特不格罗特的... What kind of... I mean, Groat's or no Groat's...
我是说 你的礼貌呢? l mean, where are your manners?
我问过他在不在意了 我很饿 I asked if he would mind. I was starving.
-他怎么说的? -他说他在意 - And what did he say? - He said he did mind.
那你就该知道要等他... And you should've taken that as your cue to wait...
等到他食物上来 然后你再开动 till his food arrived, so that you could start eating.
现在 他觉得受到侮辱了 Meanwhile, the guy's insulted.
我说"在意我先开吃吗" 他说"在意" I said, "Do you mind if I start?" He said, "Yes."
什么样的人会在意这种事啊 What kind of person says yes to "Do you mind if I start?"
你认识任何会这么做的人吗? Do you know anybody who would do that?
他告诉我他要取消这张支票... He told me he was going to cancel the check...
除非 你懂的...我当时 冥思苦想 unless, you know... I was like, searching.
我说"有没有任何事我们能补偿你的?" I said, "ls there anything we can do to make it up to you?"
他说"如果拉里可以" He said, "Maybe if Larry would...
"更多参与进来 表示出他是真的关心... "get more involved and show that he really cared...
"关心格罗特综合征 或许我就会同意给钱" "about Groat's syndrome, maybe then l would agree to give the money."
然后我就提议"如果拉里同意主持... And I suggested, "lf Larry would agree to host...
"格罗特综合征才艺秀... "the Groat's syndrome talent show...
"或许他可以这么补偿你" "maybe he could make it up to you that way."
他就说他可以同意捐款 And he said he would agree to make his donation...
如果你可以主持那个才艺秀 if you would agree to host the talent show.
我不能就给你写张支票吗? Couldn't I just write the check?
拉里 重点不在这 Larry, that's not the point.
不仅是捐钱 It's not just the giving money.
重在参与 你懂的 参与格罗特症 It's getting involved, you know, in Groat's.
重在对格罗特症热心 It's being Groat's active.
不是什么大事 你只需要露个面... It's not a big deal, all you got to do is you show up...
少说两句 讲两个笑话... you say a few things, you make a couple of jokes...
然后介绍才艺秀的表演者 and then you introduce the participants in the show.
顺便一说 那些都是格罗特综合征的患者 These are all people, by the way, with Groat's syndrome.
他们所有人可以展示出... These are all people who will demonstrate...
即使有格罗特综合征 生活一样精彩 that you can have a life with Groat's syndrome...
你可以积极 有才 没有限制 and you can be active and talented and all of that.
我不理解午饭怎么就变成... I don't understand how lunch could come...
选择就在你面前 要是... and it's right in front of you, and...
如果你不觉得自己做错了任何事 lf you don't feel like you've done anything wrong...
你也不觉得有必要补偿他们 and you don't feel like you have to make it up to them...
那好 你走你的阳关道 then fine, go your merry way.
我不想让你失去支票 I don't want you to lose the check.
这么做肯定能帮我们保全支票... This would go a long way to helping us secure that check...
并且我认为还可以 做到很多 and I think also, do quite a bit...
引起一些对格罗特综合征的关注 in raising some consciousness about Groat's.
他们现在还相信我吗 还想要我主持吗? They still trust me now, they would want me to do that?
好 好了 聊的很愉快 Okay, all right. Good to talk to you.
好的 谢谢了 All right, thanks a lot.
-你会考虑的吧? -我一定会的 - You'll think about it? - I definitely will.
-祝好 -好了 你也是 - Feel good. - All right, you too.
-我感觉很好 -再见 - Okay, I do. - Goodbye.
你好 Hello.
我有些... I've got some...
大新闻 big news.
新闻就是... And the news is that...
我觉得我好多了 l think l'm all better.
-真的吗? -我感觉非常好 - Really? - I'm feeling pretty good.
非常 非常 非常 Pretty, pretty, pretty...
非常 非常好 pretty, pretty good.
-发生什么了? -我顿悟了 - What happened? - I had an epiphany.
就那样...我整个人生都有了意义 And l'm just... My whole life is in perspective.
我感觉很棒 I feel great.
-你顿悟到什么了? -我准备好结束了 - What was your epiphany? - I'm ready to terminate.
-我要结束了 我觉得我可以结束了 -那真是太棒了 拉里 - I'm terminating. I think I can terminate. - That's wonderful, Larry.
你知道我是什么吗?我就是终结者 You know what I am? I'm the terminator.
-我就是终结者 -是因为海滩吗 - I am the terminator. - Was it the beach?
-因为去海滩让你这么做的吗? -我没去海滩 - Was it going to the beach that did it? - I didn't go to the beach.
我和我老婆去购物了 而且... I went shopping with my wife, and...
那更棒 和她一起购物 想象一下 Which is even better, to go shopping with her. Imagine that.
-没去海滩吗? -我没去海滩 没有 - No beach? - I didn't go to the beach, no.
但我有件事想说 But here's the thing that I want to say.
偶尔 我肯定还会出点小问题... Once in a while, l'm sure l'll have a problem...
总有这事的 我很愿意回来找你 that's gonna come up. I would love to be able to come back.
你懂 间歇性的 如果你愿意的话 我希望你愿意 You know, just intermittently, if I can, if you'll have me, I hope you will.
就来几次小提醒... Just to kind of have a little refresher course...
以防我旧病复发 just in case things start to go off again.
那 你现在觉得所有困扰你的事情... So, now you feel all these things that were upsetting you...
嗯 我不再需要常来了 Yes, I don't need to come in regularly anymore.
-所有的问题 杰森亚历山大 -杰森亚历山大 对 怎么 - All the problems, the Jason Alexander... - Jason Alexander, yeah, what?
我去他办公室见面了... I go to his office for a meeting...
他就想下次见面让我回去继续找他 he wants me to go back for the next meeting.
你意识到自己有多激动了吗 拉里? You see how agitated you are, Larry?
我是说 这种情况我认为不太令人愉快 I mean, that's a situation that I find rather annoying.
嗯 但那不叫事 没事的 Yeah, but that's okay, that's okay.
不 我是说 你刚还在说... No, I mean, 'cause you just got through saying...
你感觉有多棒 how great you feel.
我就是感觉很棒 I do feel great.
但 如果你要让我想起大屠杀的事... But, if you're gonna remind me of the holocaust...
我的心情就不那么棒了 l'm not gonna feel so great.
-坦白说 你看上去... -我真的不觉得我需要继续来了 - Frankly, you seem... - I don't really think I need to come.
-你今天看上去很激动 -激动? - You seem agitated today. - Agitated?
不 你所看到的激动实际上是心花怒放 No, what you're seeing as agitation is actually ebullience.
你没见过我心花怒放 所以你也看不出这是什么 You've never seen me ebullient, so you don't even know what it is.
"我是谁" 你这么和自己说 "Who am l?" you're saying to yourself.
对 那恰恰是我的问题 你是谁? Yes, that's exactly what l'm saying. Who are you?
我不想谈的太多 不然兴致就没了 I don't even want to talk about it too much, lest I dissipate it.
我是说... I mean...
看到你的情绪波动这么打很困扰我 拉里 l see swings of emotion that disturb me a little bit, Larry.
没什么波动 我是个吊床 There's no swing. I'm a hammock.
-吊床是很平稳的 -吊床? - A hammock is very placid. - A hammock?
嗯 只是随风轻摇 那就是我 Yeah, just gently flowing in the breeze, that's me.
我得和你说 拉里... I must tell you, Larry...
你看上去可不是随风轻摇 you don't seem to be gently flowing in the breeze.
你已经咨询一段时间了 我对你有些了解 You've been in therapy for a while, l know you pretty well.
你是个这么棒的咨询师 我都替你难过 I feel bad that you are such a good therapist...
你简直是你的天分和技巧的受害者... that you're kind of a victim of your own talents and skills...
因为你工作做的这么好 反而要失去一位病人了 that you have to lose a patient because of the job that you did.
真是不行 我很遗憾 It's unfortunate, l'm sorry.
我只是想确保你是因为你说的原因才离开我的 I just want to make sure that l'm losing you for the reason that you're saying.
嗯 你当然了 Yeah, of course you are.
因为我知道你去海滩了 拉里 Because I know you were at the beach, Larry.
我没去过海滩 I was not at the beach.
那和那条丁字裤没关系吗? So it had nothing to do with the thong?
-怎样? -他看透我们了 - So? - He's on to us.
他知道丁字裤的事了 He knows about the whole thong thing.
他知道那条丁字裤的事了 He knows about the thong thing.
-他看透我们了? -他看透我了 - He's on to us? - He's on to me.
怎么会 那他也看透我了 How did this happen? He's on to me now.
-他会看透你的 -怎么会这样? - He'll be on to you. - How did this happen?
谁和他说的? Who told him?
我做慈善和那个人一起吃饭... I had this lunch with that guy for the charity...
我和他说过这事 and I told him about it.
他肯定和劳勃说了 然后他告诉咨询师了 He must've told Rob, who told him.
为什么劳勃会...天啊 Why would Rob even... Christ.
一定是无意提起来了 我不清楚 It must have come up somehow, l don't know.
那发生什么了?你退出了吗? So what happened? Are you out of there?
-我退出了 当然 -怎么办的? - I'm out, yeah. - How?
我和他说我感到开心 我不再需要咨询了 I told him I was happy and I didn't need the therapy.
-你和他说什么? -我说我很开心 - You told him what? - I told him I was happy.
那是我要和他说的 你怎么能剽窃我的告别? That's what l'm telling him. How can you steal my termination?
我没有 我不知道你准备这么说 I didn't. I didn't know you were gonna say that.
-不然还能怎么离开咨询师? -我他妈怎么知道? - How else am I gonna leave a shrink? - How the fuck do I know?
我觉得很悲惨 很想自杀 所以我想离开? I'm miserable and l'm suicidal, l want to leave?
那 我该怎么办? So, what am I gonna do?
和他说你是科学神教教徒什么的 Tell him you're a Scientologist or something.
-我没有 -就和他说你信科学神教了 - I'm not. - Tell him you're into Scientology.
你这么说容易 我可是全靠咨询师的 It's easy for you to say, l'm a shrink person.
没关系的 你需要点什么来脱身 It doesn't matter, you need something to get out.
-就和他说你信科学神教了 -我得找个更好的借口 - Tell him you went to Scientology. - I need a better excuse.
看 这是啥啊?这是啥啊? Look, what is this? This is what?
是比弗利中心买的吗 这件? Is this the Beverly Center, this thing?
这简直...看看这 还有皮子 这一身 This is so... Look at this, with the leather, the whole thing here.
-不 简直难以置信 -嗯 好了 - No, that's unbelievable. - Yeah, okay.
听着 很高心见到你 继续好好的吧 我也感觉很棒 Listen, it's good to see you. Stay feeling good, I feel great too.
那本书的名字叫什么来着... What's the name of that book again...
太空堡垒卡拉狄加? Battlestar Galactica?
-我不知道 我根本... -我会查的 我会找到的 - I don't know, I just... - l'll look, l'll check that out.
还有同名电影 是吧? It's a movie too, isn't it?
-我根本不知道你在说什么 -我很开心 我也为你感到开心 - I have no idea what you're talking about. - I'm very happy, l'm very happy for you.
-你好吗? -不错 你好吗? - How are you? - Good, how are you?
我人生中从没感觉这么好过 I've never felt better in my entire life.
格罗特症 并非如以为那么怪 Groat's, we're not as hyper as we seem
格罗特症 有梦就千万别放开 Groat's, let's hold on to the dream
谢谢你 Thank you.
嗯 女士们先生们 刚才是贝丝斯维尼 Yes, that was Beth Sweeney, ladies and gentlemen.
再为贝丝斯维尼献上一轮掌声 Another round of applause for Beth Sweeney.
她多棒啊 Wasn't she wonderful?
她就是我们的科学家团队在实验室中 And she is living proof of the great work being done...
做出的伟大贡献的完美例证 by our team of scientists at the Groat's laboratories.
有人和我确保说 在他们研发出 And I have been assured that after they come up...
格罗特症的解药之后 他们就会攻克秃顶问题 with a cure for Groat's, they're gonna tackle baldness.
我是这么被打包票的 所以 小心了 秃顶人 I've been assured. So, watch out, bald people.
你们的日子就要到来了 别放弃希望 保持希望啊 Your day is coming. Don't give up hope, keep hope alive.
一定要保持希望 秃顶的大家 You must keep hope alive, bald people.
好 我们下一位演出者... Okay, our next performer...
是一位来自 加利福尼亚州 富勒顿 的小姐 is a young lady who comes to us from Fullerton, California.
她是一位钢琴家 And she's a pianist.
我认为你们会十分享受她的表演的 And I think you're going to enjoy her very much.
欢迎 马兰妮泰勒小姐 Please welcome Miss Melanie Tyler...
女士们先生们 马兰妮泰勒 ladies and gentlemen, Melanie Tyler.
这糟透了 你不能让她这样下去了 This is awful. You can't let her do this.
-我不知道我们应不应该叫停她 -我去叫停她 - I don't know if we should pull her off. - I gotta get her off.
-该停下了 -不 - Time to stop. - No!
-得了吧 停下 -不 - Come on, stop. - No!
翻译:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net